“Flattery is an ensnaring quality, and leaves a very dangerous impression. It swells a man's imagination, entertains his vanity, and drives him to a doting upon his own person.”
- Jeremy Collier
The Pharisees colluding with the Herodians, no doubt strange bedfellows, could align together not on their love for Christ but on their animosity towards Him. Indeed, not only does love unite two groups of people, but so does a common hatred! They sought not how to follow Jesus but rather how they might kill Him (Mark 3). They plotted against Jesus, seeking to trap Him in His words or in His healing on the Sabbath. Would He say or do anything they could bring against Him that would stick in a court of law? Yet Jesus, knowing what was in the heart of man (John 2:25), certainly knew their intentions. The method of trapping Jesus they attempted in Mark 12 was the deceitful use of flattery. Mark writes:
“And they sent to him some of the Pharisees and some of the Herodians, to trap him in his talk. And they came and said to him, “Teacher, we know that you are true and do not care about anyone's opinion. For you are not swayed by appearances, but truly teach the way of God. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? Should we pay them, or should we not?” (Mark 12:13-14).
The Pharisees and the Herodians sought to use deceit to entrap Jesus, but all the while they had deceived and entrapped their own hearts. There exists a tendency in every heart to think of flattery as a good thing. Indeed it is easy to fall prey to the flatterer because the flesh loves attention, notoriety, and the often sought after ‘celebrity status’. Who doesn’t like to be praised for what they do? It makes one feel good! After all, we all desire to be needed. We long to know that we are making a difference in this world. Yet, that is exactly the danger. Flattery brings no liberty, only enslavement. It often enslaves us to the external validation of men as opposed to the eternal validation of who we are in Christ Jesus.
According to The Oxford American College Dictionary, flattery is “excessive and insincere praise, especially that given to further one’s own interests.”
Proverbs 26:28 warns, “A flattering mouth works ruin.” Flattery is destructive. Flattery brings forth ruin while appearing to construct. Flattery has no place in the life of a Christian. The Christian is called to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15), to be a man or woman of utmost integrity, seeking to glorify the Lord in all that we say and do! Indeed, the deceitful use of flattery does not glorify our Lord nor please Him. We not only need to beware of the flatterer, but we must take heed of our own hearts and ask, do we ourselves use flattery?
The flatterer is a shadow of a fool. He feeds with an empty spoon, medicates with poison, bites with a smile, and praises with knife in hand.
There is a difference between flattery and appropriate praise, and, by wisdom, it is discerned. A compliment is defined as “a polite expression of praise or admiration.” When someone does something worthy of praise, he or she should be complimented and encouraged (Rom. 13:7). But when praise exceeds that which the recipient deserves, it crosses the line into flattery, especially if the giver seeks to gain something by offering such hollow praise (e.g., a job, a raise, a promotion, a following, a voice at the table, etc.).
Elihu, Job’s self-appointed and misguided advisor, at least understood something regarding flattery:
“I will not show partiality to any man or use flattery toward any person. For I do not know how to flatter, else my Maker would soon take me away” (Job 32:21-22).
If you learn anything from Elihu, learn that! We as Christians must not flatter! Flattery is contrary to the new and honest nature we now possess in Christ (2 Cor. 8:21; Phil. 4:8; John 8:44).
Part of flattery’s deception is that what is said can be true. This was certainly the case in the Pharisees’ and Herodians’ praise of Jesus. Jesus is “true”, he is “not swayed by appearances”, and He does “teach the way of God” (Mark 12:14). But they were not seeking to encourage Jesus, they were seeking to kill Him.
Understand that flattery at its core is insincere, and insincerity has no place in the life of a Christian (Josh. 24:14; 2 Cor. 2:17).
As Christians, we must beware of all flatterers. If flattery was used in an attempt to trap Jesus, it most certainly will be used to sway and trap His followers. Did Jesus not warn of “false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but are inwardly ravenous wolves” (Matt. 7:15)? This is the approach of a flatterer!
Charles Spurgeon once wrote:
“The flatterer is the most dangerous enemy we can have. Raleigh, himself a courtier, and therefore initiated into the whole art of flattery, who discovered in his own career and fate its dangerous and deceptive power, its deep artifice and deeper falsehood, says, ‘A flatterer is said to be a beast that biteth smiling. But it is hard to know them from friends—they are so obsequious and full of protestations; for, as a wolf resembles a dog, so doth a flatterer a friend.’”
It can be easy for one to be swayed by another who seems to be showing him favor, but God’s word provides a firm foundation on which to stand. Because of his focus upon heavenly things, Abraham was not overwhelmed by the prospect of receiving the favor of the king of wicked Sodom (Gen. 14:21-24).
Although flattery will continue to exist, it has no place in the life of a believer. It is not to be accepted nor is it to be used. There is no praise that one will give or receive in this life that could ever compare with, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”
I say all that to say this:
Beware of those who flatter you!
Flattery that is accepted will eventually lead to complacency in our spiritual growth and other areas of our lives. Flattery blinds us to areas of needed improvement and growth and thus has the inevitable effect of leading us to resist change because we have believed a lie.
Beware of those who excessively compliment you, especially when they barely know you.
Pastors, beware of building a church with malcontent congregants from other area churches, who overly flatter you and your ministry but struggle to speak a kind word of other local pastors and congregations.
Believers, beware of the flattering-lipped pastor who talks smooth yet never reproves, corrects, or convicts.
Remember what the late R.C. Sproul once said, “Flattery is really an insult disguised as a compliment.”
Flattery seeks after selfish gain, not kingdom humility and honesty. A wise person learns to recognize it and separates flattery from sincere compliments, all the while standing upon the all-sufficient Word of God:
“For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress” (Proverbs 6:23-24).
Yes, the adulteress, the strange woman, the harlot, flatters! The deceiver flatters, the liar flatters, the manipulator flatters, fools flatter - all for selfish gain!
Beware of the flatterer and his or her many forms.
When dealing with the flatterer or flattery, one must acquire wisdom and understanding.
Make no mistake about it, most flatterers, when their desires go unmet, turn into stone-casting, malicious-minded, bloodthirsty, church-dividing critics!